Mark Force vs Davey Jones (AWF Liberty Title Match)

[Maximilian Price (Co-Owner)]

You two RP here

[Mark Force]

“The Pirate King” 

Part 1 

AWF Friday Night Freedom has just ended. Mark Force , again, cannot leave the ring. He’s wheezing, and dry heaving. Hub, the former AWF lawyer and now reluctant handler, slowly makes his way to the ring with a hoveround.

Hub : Mark, get your fat ass up. I just got word that you’ve been docked 40% of your pay this week. This is the second week in a row you have caused the AWF to incur a few thousand dollars in overtime pay because these guys have had to wait around for you.



MF : My bad, man. Lets hug it out.



Hub : I can smell you from here. No way I’m hugging you. Chop chop. Get up. I got you a cell phone so you can join the rest of us here in the 21st century, and I rented a hoveround for you. This is coming out of your paycheck. After the fine, the phone, and the hoveround deposit, you’re left with 100$.



MF : 100$?! You son of a bitch…








THAT IS AWESOME!!!



MF : It’s time for a montage!!!

We now cut to an awesome montage. 

Mark is in his hoveround at Taco Bell. 

NACHOS BITCH! 

Mark and the John Cena brawlin’ buddy high five each other. 

MOTHERFUCKIN’ HIGH FIVE, YEAH! 

Mark is at a Halloween shop purchasing a king’s crown. 

KING OF OLD SCHOOL, BABY! 

Mark is back at Taco Bell. 

4TH MEAL, MOTHERFUCKER! 

After an eventful evening, Mark heads back to his hotel room and passes out. Partly because of the nachos. Partly because he’s in terrible health.

...NOTICE BY AWF LEGAL TEAM… 

Those who eat a regular diet of fast food could be at risk of future health problems such as obesity, diabetes and even cancer. Please eat responsibly. 

...NOTICE BY AWF LEGAL TEAM… 

We open to a quiet, dark room. It’s smelly. Sweat mixed with old pizza. A phone rings. A startled Mark Force sits up. Of course, he’s not sleeping in the bed like a normal human being. He’s buried in a small pile of dirty laundry.



MF : Cena, can you get that?



Cena : Yo dawg. I got this. Word is born. [picks up phone] WORD LIFE!



Hub : Mark.



Cena : Nope. This is Cena.



Hub : Stop screwing around. I know this is you Mark, Im staring at you through the window.



Cena : YOU CANT SEE ME.



Hub lets himself into the room.



Hub : Mark. I don’t know how you managed it...but you’ll be in the Main Event for the 3rd straight week. AWF hired a personal trainer for you. They don’t want you dying on live tv.



MF : I dont need a personal trainer. I ran a bit earlier.



Hub : You’re passed out under a heap of clothes. No way you just got up all on your own and went for a jog.



MF : See, about 2 AM...I had to take a massive dump because of all them delicious nachos. I ran to the bathroom. Literally. It was an emergency.



Hub lets out a long sigh.



MF : For a guy who doesn’t wanna be around me...you sure are around a lot.



Hub : Look, Mark. I dislike you. We both know that.



MF : You’re my “handler”. I admit, when I first heard that term, I thought your job required you to give me handjobs. I may have been a little pushy. Im sorry.



Hub : I’m a lawyer. I just wanted to do lawyer stuff. I was pissed the AWF brass picked *me* to be the one to look after you. I was wrong about you, though. I can admit that.



MF : So wait...you *do* wanna give me handjobs?



Hub : Dammit, no. Gross. I was wrong about you as a talent. You’re main eventing for the 3rd week in a row. You’ve got a title shot. Fans are actually cheering for you. TRUTV wants to follow you around and make your life into a reality show.



MF : Oh man! I love TruTV. Hardcore Pawn is crazy! That guy, Les...always getting in shouting fights with the customers...hahaha



Hub : Mark, that show is fake.



MF : YOURE FAKE!



Hub : Anyways. Like I said. I was wrong. You could make a lot of money in this business. I’m going to help you. My first goal is to get you ready for your match against Davey Jones.



MF : The Pirate!?! No way, bro. I love pirates. Matter of fact, John Cena showed me how to use the computer, and I just asked homeboy to be me and Cena’s tag team partner. I figure we can call ourselves the Triumvirate. That’s pretty bad ass , right? Me and Cena need to get us some pirate names. I’ll be….CAPTAIN HUNGRYBUNS.



Cena : I’ll be...Heathcliff Barnacle.



PIRATE HIGH FIVE!



Hub : You guys can discuss your tag team dreams after the title match.



MF : We gotta go get us some pirate costumes, Cena! This is gonna be great.



So, Mark Force and “John Cena” head out to the mall to pick up some pirate swag. Mark opts for the big hat and fake peg leg. The entire ensemble is really put together with the jolly roger eyepatch. Next, they head to the local marina.



Hub : Why are we here?



MF : Uhhh...to find Davey Jones, ya dummy. He’s a pirate, so, his ship has got to be around here somewhere.



Mark walks up to a big fishing boat.



MF : Davey Jones! You in there? It is I..Captain HungryBuns.



Captain HungryBuns : Davey Jones. I envy you...I fear you. I don’t know what kind of black magic you’re capable of...what with the light tricks and all...but I think we’d make a good team. 2 awesome, totally sexy pirates...sailing the seas.



Hub : Who are you talking to?



Captain HungryBuns : Davey Jones is in there. He can hear me.



An old man emerges from the fishing boat.



Captain HungryBuns : Ah. You must be Davey’s first mate. I am here to announce my wishes to become your captain’s tag team partner.



Old Man : GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE.



Hub : Maybe we should go. This is CLEARLY not Davey Jones’ ship.



Old Man : LISTEN TO THE PRETTY BOY. YOUR BOYFRIEND IS RIGHT. GO.



Captain HungryBuns : Old Man, despite my numerous advances….This pretty boy here does not share my lust. This is not important though. Please tell your captain about my offer.



Old Man pulls out a harpoon.



Hub : Okay, now we really gotta go.



Captain HungryBuns : Davey Jones. I am disappointed in you. Sending your first mate out with a harpoon? It’s cool, though. I still respect you...and if we’re being honest, I’m scared shitless by you. So, if you change your mind about the whole tag team thing...just let me know.



The Old Man fires the harpoon and….

To be continued? 

[Devil Of The Deep Davey Jones]

During an AWF house show, The lights go out, blue fog creeps in slowly, and what feels like rain begins to drizzle in a haze over the audience. Thunder clashes, and lightning flashes as we see Davy Jones’ visage appear on the Tron. He begins to speak as his voice booms through the darkness.


“Into the salty sea we go Mark Force. Into the the frost bitten cold of the ocean deep. I won this piece of eight- *holds up the Liberty Championship* through nothing more than villainy and the sweat of my ancient brow.. And yet ye seem to serve little purpose here in the AWF… Little purpose indeed... Some would say you're senile. Banged your head one two many times on the ring-mast. I would say that I am dead. So yer excuse is invalid.
"

The camera zooms back and we see Davey holding a John Cena brawlin’ buddy. Not Mark Force’s (it is not stained with the blood of a thousand nachos.) Davey holds it up and looks at it, he brings his cutlass up to the doll’s neck and teases the cotton fibers with the tip.


“Ya play all day with a soft children's doll. Ya gorge yerself on the overabundant pig slop of the Americas, and ya do both of these with RECKLESS ABANDON! Is it any wonder I don't even dignify your plea for such an unholy alliance with a response?... I am being generous giving you this much of a response!”


Davey throws the doll into the air and slices it from crotch through the head. The innards of the doll spark on the floor as the camera pans down to see Davey’s boot step upon the doll and grind it under foot.


“Ya laugh, ya joke… There is no end to yer incessant jest. So... let me tell ye a story that will not have ya wagging your tale like the idiotic dog ya are... The story begins with this Liberty championship. *He picks up his belt from a table behind him and wraps it around his shoulder like a bandolier.* Or more specifically, the bronze metal from which it is forged...

Once the bronze of this belt was in the shape of a necklace. The necklace that I gave to Marietta Hallet. Every summer, I'd return to her at Cape Cod. And every summer, she would have report of great things she had done to further our cause in the community and continue the growth of new life for both of us.


And yet, in the summer of her 19th year, she was captured... Captured by rival buccaneers… By Captain Calico Jack… She was taken to the Caribbean. I sailed as fast as I could, but to no avail. The closer I got to Marietta, the more they tortured her, and the faster I sailed, the more they desecrated her. And when I finally arrived, I had lost nearly all my men to plague and storm, and I was captured myself, and left to rot in a prison cell. I laid there for two years, Mark... Two years with only her bones and her once shining, bronze choker necklace as a reminder…
"

Davey takes a moment, and a the camera cuts to a few of the fans’ faces who look legitimately concerned as Davey looks down, but then Davey’s white eyes look up and wind and storm begin to blow ever harder in the arena.


“And yet here I am in the year of our Lord, TWO-THOUSAND-FOURTEEN! And I am reunited with Marietta’s Bronze choker! Do ye think it HUMOROUS the lengths that I will go to to preserve this treasure? Do ye think that I want to see the only surviving piece of my adventure with Marietta in the hands of a dishonorable, discourteous, swine who wallows in the filth of his own meaningless existence? The tides have come in! And there is nowhere to swim. The time has come to put this man-child to rest. The strength of Marietta will be with me, Mark. Who will be with ye? If ye have any stories left in yer fat, bloated, bones, humorous or otherwise, now is the time to tell them to your little doll... For... Dead men tell no tales.
"

The lights go out in the arena once more, and when they come back on, we hear an unearthly scream, and a the flag of the Jolly Roger lays in the center of the ring.